nobody in college gives a shit ive seen peope walking to class in heavy snow in sweats and a tshirt and flip flops ive seen people wear studio headphones in lecture ive heard so many professors curse its really some next level shit and high school did not prepare me for it
I was not prepared for university particularly this one lecturer that would slip in a photograph of fisting into presentations to check we were paying attention
44% of the audience of Guardians of the Galaxy is female and all the speculation states that women went to see it for Chris Pratt’s body. I don’t think that’s fair. Maybe (and this is crazy) they just like kickass movies with space shit and explosions. Maybe women can do things without men being their motivation. Maybe.
I WENT FOR THE TALKING RACCOON MOTHAFUCKAS
Miley: “Dad I have something for Tanners bug collection”
my uncle: “that’s great”
Miley: “it’s a bird”
my uncle: “no its not”
They let it go and it flew away just fine, so we’re wondering how she caught it.
she caught another bird.
update: she caught a squirrel today
She is gonna rule the world one day with this power
Steve Irwin has been reborn
so I was forced to go to church and all these babies were screaming and I said “we wouldn’t be having this problem if the church supported abortion” and the guy next to me almost had a heart attack
I’m crying because when my dad was eighteen he was going to join the airforce and then the night before he had a dream that Jesus slapped him in the face with a gigantic fish and asked him what he was doing and he woke up and thought, “Jesus is right what am I doing?” And that’s why my dad did not join the military.
But really I probably wouldn’t have been born if my dad hadn’t been fish slapped in the face by dream Jesus and I can’t even