videohall: Some awesome life hacks, that actually is useful
How to Know When a Woman is Mad
alangwiggy: businessofmisery-: these ladies are my idols Getting revenge. You’re doing it right
Why I Love My Mother
Politician at door: (blah blah blah)...and my strong commitment to traditional family values, as my wife of 28 years will attest.
Shade's mom: Sir, I don't care if you have orgies every Tuesday night so long as you get your job done.
Shade's mom: Also, if "traditional family values" is a sneaky way of saying "anti-gay marriage stance," you should know that my daughter is bisexual, and if I never get to cry at her wedding because some law you passed made her wedding illegal, I will personally see that your wife of 28 years has a lesbian awakening in time for you to discover the virtues of traditional divorce.
Politician: ...you have yourself a nice day, m'am.
mishaphilia: firstclassfanfic: Remember these things when you’re sad: Jeremy Renner got a boner on a plane Samuel L. Jackson impersonated Nicki Minaj Tom Hiddleston loves the song “Hips Don’t Lie” Scarlett Johansson’s catsuit were like sweaty pajamas Chris Hemsworth’s daughter was once mistaken for a hot dog when he held her in one hand Robert Downey Jr. is really Tony Stark playing...
livinglovinoloca: you’re walking in the stadium you get a mediocre cheer, and you’re waving your flag out of the corner of your eye you spot them the americans
itscandidlycara: yo America listen up if we ever get the summer Olympics again here’s whats going down 80 foot tall American presidents fighting 80 foot tall Stan Lee villains i’m talking Abe Lincoln taking down Loki in hand to hand combat confetti? FUCK THAT apple pIES 7 BILLION APPLE PIES
Sometimes I’m sad but then I remember Robert... →
the-absolute-funniest-posts: Follow this blog, it’ll make your dash light up with unicorns and freakin’ magic
In real life
when you meet someone a few years older than you: oh my god, you're so OLD i can't talk to you i'll embarrass myself oh dfhsfg
when you meet someone a few years younger than you: ew, no, get away from me, I'll break your brain with my knowledge.
when you meet someone a few years older than you: I DON'T EVEN CARE, LOOK WE LIKE THE SAME STUFF, YOU'RE SO AWESOME, I LOVE YOU, I'M GONNA TALK TO YOU ALL THE TIME.
when you meet someone a few years younger than you: d'awwwwww omg *squish squish* ilu you're so cute, here, read some porn.